"Woman, What in Hell Are You Doing?"

I'm taking a short vacation to St. Louis courtesy of the Hobart Gazette of November 25, 1904. (And in case anyone doesn't know, a mustard poultice or plaster was a common treatment for a variety of ailments in times past.)

The Hebron News relates the following tale about a Valpo couple who attended the World's fair, stopping at one of the best hotels in St. Louis: About 2 a.m. the husband was seized suddenly with severe stomach cramps and was almost frantic. His wife was very frightened, but knew that something must be done quickly, so without waiting to put on clothing started down stairs on the jump with naught on but her "nighty". Running into the dining room she saw a mustard cruet on the table. Emptying the contents into her handkerchief she started upstairs on the run, and entered the first door she came to. Here she saw a man lying on the bed, who in the dim duskiness she mistook for her husband and gently tucking up his lingerie slapped the poultice on his abdomen. The man let out a howl, and, sitting up, quickly shouted in angry tones: "Woman, what in hell are you doing?" There was a shriek, a patter of unshod feet on the hall floor, and frightened half to death the poor wife found her room and suffering husband. She told him her troubles and it tickled him so that his cramps took a change of venue.