Just Don't Go To Mike O'Hearn's House

Mike O'Hearn, the Hobart veterinarian, may have been a nice guy if you met him on the street, but apparently going to his house was asking for trouble. We first met him in 1901 when he was found guilty of breaking the arm of Charles Chester, who had made the mistake of going to Mike's house to retrieve his stepson.

Fast-forward to August 14, 1908. On that day, into the yard of Mike O'Hearn came a neighbor, Mira Cheney, bearing some young chickens. She "enquired if they belonged to Mike, and some words passed between the two neighbors."

Now, how do "words" follow from such a benign inquiry? Did it go like this:

Mira: Good morning, Mike! Are these your chickens? I found them for you.
Mike: Why, yes, thank you for returning them.

Or more like this:

Mira: Are these your [lovely] chickens?
Mike: Maybe; what of it?
Mira: Well, they've pecked my [blessed] tomatoes to pieces, and if they come on my place again I'll wring their [sweet little] necks, and yours too!
Mike: Why, you [charming] old [lady]…

Mike ended the argument by ordering Mira off the premises. In leaving, Mira somehow fell to the ground and sprained her wrist. She went to the prosecutor and filed an affidavit claiming that Mike had pushed or hit her, causing her to fall. Charges of assault and battery were brought against him.

The case was heard on September 1. Judge John Mathews recused himself and appointed attorney F.T. Fetterer as a special judge. Mira repeated her accusation; Mike denied ever touching her, and he had two witnesses who backed him up. With the weight of evidence on his side, Mike was found not guilty.

Perhaps he really was innocent this time. But I think the moral of the story is, just don't go to Mike O'Hearn's house.

Source: "General News Items." Hobart Gazette 4 Sept. 1908.